Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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