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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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