I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
