I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
