Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
