I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
