I wish I only lived at night.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
