a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
