She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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