in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
