My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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