how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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