MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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