she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
