just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
