Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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