So drunk its hurt
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
