brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
