If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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