So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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