walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The power of my boobs compel you
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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