How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
