I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
