I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
