i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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