I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
