When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just pee around me
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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