whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
