What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
