the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
