Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
