Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
false alarm. still invincible.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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