Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
