Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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