In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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