I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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