Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
