That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
