Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
