ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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