i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize