So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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