Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I lost the right to judge tonight
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
