Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
