Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
