I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
