i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
