Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
