Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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