My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
