Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The Olympian is in my bed
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