I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
